SOCIAL EVENTS: Dates for your Diary:
Members should be aware that, in the absence of catering, they are most welcome to bring in sandwiches, pork pies etc from outside. Although there are several outlets on Bailgate, the “Wig and Mitre,” very near the top of Steep Hill also provide a take-away service at lunchtimes for Castle Hill Club members. The Club provides crockery and cutlery on request.
Next Thursday 6th September – Quiz, hosted by Phil Moss. Lucky 7 Jackpot has been reset to stand at £20 as Sue Powis won it (£140) last time!
New Year’s Eve – Wednesday 31st December. Why not see the New Year In at the Club to the sound of the Cathedral bells? There will be a singer, Ted’s famous Quiz of the Year, a buffet and, most of all, good company.
REGULAR NOTICES:
- Please save your 10p pieces to add to the charity fundraising pile on the bar.
- Members may use the club for their family events, birthdays, retirement parties, etc, for no charge. Simply make arrangements with Laurence.
GUEST ALES: “Bombardier” (abv 4.1) sponsored by George Berzins, Black Cat Reserve (abv 4.6) sponsored by Mark Popham, and Bass sponsored by Les Balchin. If you wish to sponsor an ale of your choice please speak to Laurence.
This week’s offering:
The world economy explained with two cows
*SOCIALISM * You have 2 cows. You give one to your neighbour.
*COMMUNISM * You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.
*FASCISM * You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.
*BUREAUCRATISM * You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other and then throws the milk away.
*TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM * You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
*VENTURE CAPITALISM * You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an
associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.
*AN AMERICAN CORPORATION * You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has died.
*A FRENCH CORPORATION * You have two cows. You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.
*AN ITALIAN CORPORATION * You have two cows, but you do not know where they are. You decide to have lunch.
*A SWISS CORPORATION * You have 5,000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them.
*A CHINESE CORPORATION * You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment and high bovine productivity. You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
*AN INDIAN CORPORATION * You have two cows. You worship them.
*A BRITISH CORPORATION * You have two cows. Both are mad.
*AN IRAQI CORPORATION * Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. Nobody believes you, so they bomb you and invade your country. You still have no cows but at least you are now a Democracy.
*AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION * You have two cows. Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
*A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION * You have two cows. The one on the left looks very attractive.
*A GREEK CORPORATION * You have two cows borrowed from French and German banks. You eat both of them. The banks call to collect their milk, but you cannot deliver so you call the IMF. The IMF loans you two cows. You eat both of them. The banks and the IMF call to collect their cows/milk. You are out getting a haircut.
Kind regards
Ted
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